Annual check-in

Since I blog but once a year, here's your update: We did the unthinkable. We moved to a crazy old house that has zero trick-or-treat. Whaaaaaaaaaaat were we thinking?!?!?

Luckily, we live just 1.5 miles from our old 'hood, so we didn't have to cancel Halloween on account of our housing idiocy!

Then, Mother Nature stepped in. Yet again, she tried to rain on our Halloween parade, and she was rather successful..., but dangit! We persevered!

Now, to do something about the holiday apathy from THIS one:

He's all, What's this? Only your favorite holiday/day of the year? [yawn] Don't care.

Well, I didn't NEED him. 'Cause I found a hand-me-down yellow vest and a bucket hat that reminded me of a fisherman, so I had all the inspiration I needed! I cut up an old onesie and sewed it into a fish and then, with the Gorton's Fisherman in mind, I made one, grocery-store impulse purchase:

 Perfection! 

(They didn't fit.)

"Hey, Matthew! You look so cute! Can you hold this fishing pole??"

Oh. Okay.

He had a little bucket that said, "Worms [written in worms, of course] or candy." However, since he's in his brother's boots that are exactly six sizes too large, I took about 152 photos of him looking unsteady (seasick, maybe?) and miserable (character commitment, prolly).

But then--aha!--he discovered he could flick that fish around and almost nearly smile...until the ribbon slipped right off the end of the stick.

End Matthew's Halloween 2018 scene.

Full disclosure: We posed for these photos on October 30 because the forecast for the 31st was a washout. When we got to the fateful night, young Matthew put his snotty head on my shoulder around 6 p.m. and opted for PJs over fishing gear. :(

Maybe next year!

Meanwhile, Elliott, the big adult, wasn't much better. He wasn't sick, but he claimed he was "too old" for ToTing and "no one wears costumes," so he went to some dumb teen party to, I don't know, eat pizza and roll his eyes, I think.

So THANK GOD I have 83 additional children on whom I can still hang all my Halloween hopes! Let's hear it for the real stars of Halloween 2018!

Dutifully, these two thoughtfully designed their pumpkins...that we never actually carved. But it was SUPERhard to get motivated for that undertaking when we knew we'd have zero trick-or-treaters! (File that with my carrot pumpkin and Matthew in the "Maybe Next Year" column.)

More importantly, James knew JUST what he wanted to be! A Lego guy (or minifig, as the Lego nerds call 'em)!

Well, you can certainly buy this or a zillion other Lego costumes, but why on Earth would I do that when a Costco pretzel barrel was just BEGGING to be transformed?!

I cut off the bottom, cut out eye holes and sketched the face in Sharpie. Did you know spray paint doesn't really cover Sharpie?? And that when you just keep spraying more to cover your permanent marker-sketching, the paint drips instead? And then when you wipe the excess, you glance up at Patrick whose horrified face clearly articulates: Why are you ruining Halloween, mother, why?

His face didn't get better when I tried to find Lego hands that'd work. Out of desperation, I went with these: 

Yeah.

We pulled out a size 16 jacket, stuffed a box inside of it and voila! James, the Lego minifig, was born:

Turns out, it's really hard to come up with different poses when you're supposed to be a little plastic doll with limited movements...

But James was delighted that his head would do the smiling for him! For his all-important candy collector, we glued some bricks onto a bag.

Heck if some dummies didn't ask him if he was a Minion...

HOW many clues do you need?? WORK with me, people!

Now, Patrick.

Maybe I told you his big idea from last year: Drew Drechsel, his most favorite competitor from his most favorite show, American Ninja Warrior.

Hmmm. Seems easy.

Last year, I talked him out of it, in favor of a pretty spectacular scarecrow (conveniently located one post down!). But this year, he remained steadfast in his wish. I decided it was up to me to make his Halloween dream come true!

I got an orange tank top and a Sharpie:

(As a quick aside, a girl approached Patrick and asked about his shirt. He told her his mom made it, and she complimented him because the Chinese characters were actually done correctly! Hot diggity!)

Clearly, most people would need more help. His bag had to step up its game and help others figure out what the heck his costume was all about. It took some serious time!  

More details. Patrick has always been our skin-and-bones kid... Soooooo, you say you wanna be a muscle-bound, tank-topped gym owner who competes on national TV? Ummmmm... How about a muscle shirt for warmth on an October night?!

Success!

My favorite part was debating what, if anything, he should wear under the muscles. Mom won and forced him to wear a t-shirt underneath. When I further suggested tucking the whole thing in, he strongly questioned me. "Uh, 'cause it's your skin?"

Oh. Yeah. That makes sense!

Why do the candy collectors often become my favorite part?

Anyway, Elliott went to his party. Matthew happily went to bed. Patrick went off ToTing with his buddies. So, I was left with Jimbo!

Luckily, his partner in crime (a conservationist, obviously) could join us! We got a late start, it was pitch-black and steadily drizzling-to-raining, and James wore head-to-toe impracticality.

He couldn't really see out of his inadequate eye holes. His stupid, spray-painted mittens gave him the dexterity of a vending machine claw. And his paper bag with water-soluble glue turned out to not be the best choice in the rain... HA!

But! We. had. fun.

And when we gathered at our crazy old house for the sorting aftermath (and a beer), James lost another tooth! So! Turns out we DID have jack-o-lanterns in 2018!

Another memorable Halloween in the books!