Oh, Canada! (and some other places)

Family vacations are like childbirth.

In the middle of it, you wonder what you were thinking, how painful it can possibly be and if you can just fast-forward to the end. Afterward, you're all, "It was magical!" and "Were there any bad parts? I can't remember!"

With that intro, I'll launch into our family vacation recap! We covered a lot of ground, so stick with me. (It's mostly photos. You're gonna do great!)

First, we drove straight from Columbus, Ohio to Niagara-on-the-Lake in Ontario. If you don't know this little gem of a town, look. it. up. We LOVE it! The quaint downtown is akin to our hometown of Worthington or our old college town in Granville. And the flowers! Incredible.

We found kid utopia: an ice cream shop with walls of games and puzzles!

And then, there's the wine.

So very happy to selfie (a verb? sure.) in front of a pile of wine barrels...

I mean, even the tasting bars are pretty!

Napa Valley is not always practical, but THIS? A short drive from Ohio?? We'll take it!

Day 2 started with misery, a driving rain. What to do? Why not head to the Falls right then?? It was a genius move that allowed us to basically walk onto the boat ride (which I'll forever call Maid of the Mist, even though it seems to be called Hornblower now).

Five-person selfies are hard. Do we really need everyone's head??

Luckily, a kind tourist took pity on us and offered to take a few steps back for this shot--

You'd never guess it by that photo, but James was wholly unsure of "Angry Falls," as he calls them. When we first told him about going on this boat ride, he offered to stay home while we went. With a lot of reassurance, he agreed and did great!

Here are our super-convincingly happy campers, enjoying the short wait in the rain--

For the life of me, I *cannot* understand the people who take their cameras out on the boat. (You get pretty dang drenched while you head closer-than-seems-safe to Niagara Falls...) So, here we are--survivors!--just after the boat returned to the dock!

On the walk back to the car, we passed Ripley's Believe It Or Not. Why no, I had no desire to pay their admission price, BUT the tallest man and his chair were right there, outside the ticket counter! How could we NOT do a quick comparison?? (Also, does Patrick think tall equals old???)

Although there are 3,000 additional tourist traps to be discovered on the Canadian side of Niagara Falls, we decided we were all set. We headed to Toronto!

We stayed right by the airport, so watching the planes take off and land was an activity all on its own! So was the red wine at breakfast...

We tried and tried to figure out the best way to explore the city with kids, and guess what. Toronto's subway is magical! We parked for free and then paid $12 for an all-day family subway pass! Smiles all around!

Like good tourists, we made our very first stop the CN Tower. Then, I looked at wait times and cost, and I tried to talk everyone out of it. It half-worked.

James and Patrick were DYING to ride the glass elevators and look out over the impressive city expanse. So, Pete took one for the team, making the ascent to "an idiot's height," as I believe he measured it. (Wikipedia says it's a 1,815.4 ft concrete communications and observation tower. I think Pete said the same thing in fewer words.)

Poor Pedro hates heights... So, while he tried not to puke and was unable to take photos..., I got to take Elliott into the awesome aquarium right next door!

How cool was this moving walkway that carved a tunnel underneath the giant tank?!?

"Elliott! Sharks! Look *a little bit* scared!" Done. (He's so accommodating!)

Some kids' climb-through thing that looked cool for small, non-claustrophobic people--

Nemo! We found Nemo! (I know it looks like we're standing in front of TV, but this was a cylinder we climbed into, so we're technically in the middle of this tank!)

I still feel kinda bad about how we divvied up. Elliott and I totally won!

When the five of us reconvened, it was time to explore the city further. We decided Chinatown for lunch was a must! Off we set--excited, speed-walking, appreciating a cool city where old and new blend effortlessly...

...until we got to block #3. We don't make walkers, apparently. "Show me City Exhaustion!"

We stopped to rehydrate and check out this "living wall." A whole wall of plants filtering the air and tied directly into the HVAC system! Cool, right? Look how impressed they were--

Figh. Nuh. Lee.

We ate at some hole in the wall. I couldn't tell you the name, and we'd never find it again. I was so excited that everyone was doing so well and was trying new foods that I snapped a quick photo of my giant index finger and our meals. So! Take my word for it.

Next up, the Art Gallery of Ontario!

"Look, boys! Look at this woman in this famous painting and make her face!"

That's it.

The entrance to AGO has the most amazing swirling ramp. The boys ran up and down it an obnoxious number of times. (Just LOOK at this enthusiasm!)

Here's where I'll tell you we didn't even go through the incredible gallery that features more than 80,000 pieces. (Stooopid kids.) But! The gift shop gave me tons to take in and this lovely sentiment--

To be fair, I should say: my man, Patrick, just might end up in some kind of visual arts. He likes to take photos and notice the things others walk right by. Case-in-point: a perfect sky reflected in a mirror-walled building! Awesome.

Know what else? An infusion of sugar is sometimes the only way to appease exhausted kids.

Time to get back on the subway, you say?? Hoo-ray! And just LOOK at our stop!

We tried to make the most of our adventures in rotating hotels. That meant different things to different people. To James, who insisted I take this photo because he liked the first one so much, it meant wine with every meal.

Hotel pool time was more fun than Annoying Mom Asking for Uh-nother Photo.

It was good we let the children get some energy out at the pool because we set out for Niagara just after this swim. Our 55-minute drive ended up taking more than three hours! When we finally pulled off the QEW to avoid minivan peepee accidents, we learned the reason for the nutso traffic. Ready?

"Cherries," the nice old lady at Tim Hortons explained.

"Are you serious?"

She insisted she was, and then we started noticing a crazy number of Pick Your Own Cherries signs lining the roads. Say what?! Canadians are weird and need more hobbies.  

Anyway, on our way back to Niagara-on-the-Lake (it was basically on the way home!), we stopped at more wineries! Zippity-do!

Turns out Elliott was none to pleased we were back at our winery hangouts. He protested by finding a bench and reading. (THAT'll teach us!) So, two lucky boys got to go wine tasting with us!

...but smiles only last so long when you're not imbibing...

Sorry, boys. Totally leaving soon.

But! Before we did, we had a bucket list item to check off for Elliott. Our middle-aged 11-year-old wanted one thing: a gourmet dinner!

We emailed ahead and found a place that was OK with 1. kids and 2. the possibility that two kids would want nothing to do with the gourmet fare. Here, Patrick and James work on stickers and eat cheese pizza and noodles-- 

On the other end of the spectrum, Elliott tried things like quail and shrimp ceviche and bison short ribs. Amazing! He didn't love it all, but he did try it all, and that's really why we were there. (The tapas presentation was perfect because we could all sample a bunch of wildly different things without huge commitments. Such fun!)

When we stepped into the lobby to get a family photo to mark the occasion, I had to check Elliott's shoes for lifts. (I'm 5'8", people, and I keep looking shorter and shorter in these family portraits. It's RUDE, right?)

The next morning, we said farewell to our Canadian fun, crossed the border and set out for a stop in Jamestown, New York. I took not a single photo..., but we stopped at Pete's great-aunt and uncle's place. Mary Lou and Jim opened their home to us and made a ridiculous spread for our lunch. (They either heard we were eaters or thought we have 300 kids, I think.) We got to meet some family for the first time and enjoy stories from all our varied lives. It was such a lovely stop!

To further break up the drive, guess where we stopped next. A little place called Erie, PA!

We checked into our hotel and hit Waldameer, an awesome little amusement park that's like stepping back in time.

 The Ferris Wheel overlooks Lake Erie! (Shocking information.)

James was a hilarious mashup of super excited and paralyzed with fear. We kept trying to talk him out of screaming and crying, assuring him the ride was almost over, and that he'd be OK.

All Patrick really wanted to do was this coaster, the Ravine Flyer II, which crosses over a road. Twice. Who thinks of these things? Erie people be crazy!

He's shooting. And SO happy. Kiddie Land was his speed!

I MUST go back and find the photo we have of Elliott and Patrick, right around this same age, on this very boat ride. It was surreal to see James recreate it!

Maybe the best part was that Pete's cousin, Erin, (and her kid guides, Kyla and Owen) joined us to make the evening complete. We had SO much fun with our Waldameer guides!

Oh, and THIS ride was definitely one where James yelled, "I DON'T LIKE THIS ANYMORE" right in the middle. Ha!

Remember when I said we made the most of our hotel stays? Well, when the tub is large enough to fit multiples, you get 'em in there together! (I only briefly tried to convince Elliott to get in there, too.) I mean, it wasn't like anyone was even sweaty or ice cream-covered enough to justify getting clean, but it was fun all the same.

In the end, we all got to go home! To our own glorious beds! And our own rooms! Yaaaaaaay for family vacations!

Letters from the edge

Does every parent struggle with self-doubt? I kinda hope so. 

 

Recently, my self-doubt has become a relentless nag. WHY is the life-work balance so hard to get right? WHY do I feel like I should be doing more, contributing in a more meaningful way? WHY can't I get the right level of fulfillment if I'm doing such "important work"--you know--raising these three miscreants?

 

Well, I've got no answers.

 

But I've got letters.

 

Two glorious, adorable letters, folded and taped for security, that landed on my desk just when I most needed to read them. Here they are:

 

Oh yeah. M&Ms included. Has better mail ever been sent?

 

In the interest of full disclosure, it's just one piece of paper, but the sheet clearly contains two hearts, each surrounding a separate note.

 

First up, Patrick's--

Here's the transcript:

 

Dear Mom,

 

Thank you for always being so sweet. [A lie, but I'll take it!] I know if you and dad weren't here, me, James, Elliott and even Riley would not be standing here. [Love! But wait. Does he think I birthed the dog??] It is also very fun spending holiday traditions, too. [Preach!] You are the [tragically, this superlative was ripped out by tape..., but I feel 96 percent certain it was positive!] mom in the world, ask James.

 

Love,

Patrick

 

After that thoughtful allusion, James' letter needs no introduction. 

 

Recorded by Patrick, here's the transcript:

 

Dear Mom,

 

Mom, I think you are my best friend. [For real. Is it just me, or are you dying?] I like my neighbors in every way. [Okaaaay. Really odd jump there, kiddo, but I'll keep reading.] Dear mom, I'm glad you will start me a show. [Sure. It's the least I can do.] I like to go to school. [Yup. In conclusion, ... yes. This all makes perfect sense!]

 

Love,

James

 

So, just as I do every single day, I back away from the edge and choose to laugh at these boys and this life and trust it's all going to be OK. Because if not, I have chocolate.

Law-abiding citizens (for the most part)

With only a thin veil (named "Halloween costumes"), there's been serious concern about Patrick's life of crime.

Need I remind you of the eight-year-old's thug life?

Phew! Chilling! Especially with the mock turtleneck for warmth.

 

Anyway, I want you to know it was all an act. My boy is still following all rules and regulations, as far as we can tell. I mean, look. Can you spy him in this shot from a recent third grade field trip to city hall?

 

Might this photo help? Yes! There he is! It's Chief of Police Patrick, whose first order of business is to arrest that incompetent twerp measuring for uniforms and accessories.

 

Don't you love it? Patrick played the cop in the mock city council meeting, but really should've been allowed to bring the hat home. At least we have photographic proof!

 

Not to be outdone--because he's Elliott and shall never be outdone!--Elliott got to tour the Ohio Statehouse and Supreme Court of Ohio. He and a small group of trouble-makers got to hear arguments in a real case, participate in their own mock trial and wine-and-dine (or lunch) with Senator Jim Hughes (pictured below and to the left). See Elliott with his I-don't-NEED-to-tuck-in-my-shirt-unless it's-the-U.S.-Supreme-Court outfit??

 

 

Unkempt appearances aside, I hope you'll believe these Scully boys are on the straight-and-narrow. JAMES, on the other hand...

 

 

James has developed an unhealthy--and dare I say criminal?--relationship with the Halloween candy bowl. He carefully picks out his two pieces, gobbles them down, then turns to me with his best puppy-dog eyes and says, "I didn't like those. Can I get two more?"

Weeeee! It's Halloweeeeeeen!

If it's been 365 days, I know only one thing: It's time to blog again!

 

Hooray for Halloween! And hooray for the first time we actually had a jack-o-lantern for all three boys!

 

Our approach is this: Each boy draws his own design on paper, and I sketch it onto each pumpkin. So, each artist is pictured to the right of his own creation below!

 

P.S. If you're very impressed by the three-year-old's design, please know he described it, and Elliott drew it. Then, Elliott decided there were far too many "fancy" designs, so he'd go "classic."

 

Speaking of Elliott, we might as well kick things off with him! Wanna guess what his costume was? Here's a hint. A little hint Elliott calls "comms."

 

Here's a better hint. Not at all surprisingly, Elliott was a Homeland Security agent.

 

If you're thinking, "It's as if that child plays dress-up just to be MORE serious," we'd all agree with you. In fact, a friend suggested he consider dressing as a tax accountant next year, and I'd say it's in the top three of possible 2016 costumes.

 

Could this be my favorite feature? He carried a briefcase with a Homeland Security logo that said, "CANDY CONFISCATION, Protecting the Public Since 2005."

 

On the other end of the law spectrum, we find Patrick.

 

Although he looks like he should be cupping his hands and requesting soup, he's actually a hardened criminal who's just broken out of jail. Here. Try this shot:

 

Actually, he was only half of a criminal enterprise. Here's his best bud, the one who sprang them from the clink.

 

I'd like to point out that I stopped snapping to request no more pleasant smiling from these thugs... Ah well. Details.

 

And speaking of details, here are all of the criminal accessories we could come up with:

 

Handcuffs, a red crowbar, money bags and a ball-and-chain, which Patrick insisted on calling a "ball chain" no matter HOW many times I corrected him. Oh, and the matching bandit mask his buddy's mom carefully crafted for Patrick was lost just hours before Trick or Treat.

 

If you're wondering where these fellas research bad guys, look no further than Lego! Tada! The inspiration:

 

OK, OK. You're on the edge of your seat for the unveiling of James. Your wait is over!

 

He's Firefighter James! And he seriously had a professional-grade (hand-me-down!) uniform:

 

Why yes, he DID collect candy in a fire extinguisher. Thank you for noticing! And JUST because Elliott gave me a stern talking-to, telling me no one cares about these details and no one's going to read these things and WHY do you DO this stuff..., here are all three panels of my pretzel-barrel fire extinguisher:

 

He slays me with these faces.

 

Here's our whole crew before stuff broke, accessories ran away and the ball-chain tripped its wearer.

 

Ahhhh, I just love it!

 

And I love that our fantastic neighbors hosted their annual pre-T-or-T dinner party in their garage! As their daughter pointed out, "We HAVE to. It's TRADITION." And when our kids actually eat something WITHOUT sugar, we all appreciate the heck out of this tradition!

 

Here are all the kids from our street that we kinda corralled and marginally got to look toward the cameras at the end of the driveway. They'll all be licensed drivers next week, so I'm glad we pushed to get this photo!

 

Oh, and just adjacent to this party garage, we found the prop the led James to win Halloween.

I mean, BOOM.

 

At this point, Elliott had already cut out to meet his crew of friends and their fabulous, pizza-serving parents. By chance, I saw him only once during the whole evening. And because he's a loving son,  he dutifully stopped to pose for my camera. See him there?  

 

Luckily, another parent captured these wacky kids while they were all still amenable to the paparazzi.

 

I walked with James and remembered that no one moves at a three-year-old's pace except a three-year-old. (I extend my thanks to the whole entire village that helped our boys get through Trick or Treat 2015!)

 

Luckily (and strategically), the fire extinguisher filled right up before we even made it off our street, so James was thrilled to head home to inspect his haul.

 

His big brothers, on the other hand, are practically professionals, and they took full advantage of a two-hour candy-collecting window. As is now their norm, they collapsed into bed and then got to the serious sorting and trading in the a.m. 

 

And DO YOU KNOW what else? For the first time in four years, we DIDN'T have a steady downpour during Trick or Treat! It spit and sprinkled on us, but we were unfazed. Can't ruin our Halloween, Mother Nature! :D