The stars aligned, angels sang and then this stuff happened

Because I'm a bad mom--and let's just be honest... he's the middle child!--I forgot to take a photo of Patrick with his collection of 100 things for his 100th day of Kindergarten. I'll tell you this much: We tried coffee beans (not impressive enough) and elbow macaroni (too small) before settling on 100 Rotini to commemorate his big day. 

Also, he's kinda mad because they apparently hype up 100 days so much, that he totally thought this was the end of the school year. I know this because he said, in the angriest voice this sweet child could muster, "I THOUGHT you said I was going to celebrate my birthday in school!" 

Me: "I did. And that's still going to happen, Patrick!" 

P: "WHEN??!"

Me: "Do you remember when your birthday is?"

P, slowly: "May... Sixteenth."

Me: "You're STILL going to be in school then!"

P, processing: "But... What grade will I be in??"

So, I punished him by not taking his photo for this post. 

But, James! Oh, James!

Looking at this photo, I can now say without hesitation that I own the cutest baby in the wide world. [Swoon!]

My big fella is eight months today, and I'll just break that down for you because fractions are not exactly your thing. He's two-thirds of a year old! Hol-ee crap.

Anyway, he celebrated in the most meaningful way he could: HE SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. For the first time in his entire life! As in 7:30 p.m.-6:30 a.m.!!! Ahhhhhhhh!

Just wait! There's more!

For the first time in his life (a hefty 7.5 years), Elliott finally got a loose tooth!

And then he told us he didn't really have time to wiggle it. So, THIS happened--

See it in there, between his bottom teeth and tongue? That's the adult tooth saying, "Um, hello? I think you're in my seat..."

We learned it's called "shark teeth" and it's not all that uncommon, but everyone seems impressed that 1. He hasn't lost a tooth yet, and 2. If something doesn't happen soon, he's going to have many rows of teeth and "Sharky" will no longer be a temporary nickname.

Pete joked that he was going to brush that baby tooth right out of Elliott's mouth, and well, when the man says he's going to do something... Oh, just see for yourself what happened last night--

Hey, look! No wait time! The replacement is here!

Then, (Good God, I love this child. He is the reason I blog! And also his brothers. But really, the best material comes from Elliott.)

Anyway, then Elliott had to leave a little communique for the Tooth Fairy. And being the just-like-every-other-money-grubbing-kid-on-the-planet, he wrote THIS note--

:)

If you're curious, she left $5 (because it was the monumental first tooth) and a note of apology saying she was too little to carry books. (She's a FAIRY, people. Geesh!)

The Results Are In!

Why, yes. I AM aware I'm still ignoring the Christmas post! This is more important.

Have you ever done something with the "I'm on vacation!" justification? Yeah, Pete and I recently pulled that card as we tried to hide our viewing pleasure from the children.

It was a results (as in "who's the baby daddy?") show! Chant it with me now: Mau-ry! Mau-ry! Mau-ry!

Sure, it's fun to see how the other half lives, but we could just as easily be filling those chairs, facing Mr. Povich, that pillar of journalistic integrity.

Don't believe me?

Perhaps you've heard mention of how large James is...

As a result, Pete delights in suggesting alternative paternity. Any man--so long as he's a Big & Tall shopper--is a contender! Friends, coworkers, neighbors, strangers... Really, they're ALL fair game.

But just in case our application for Maury's next results show isn't flashy enough, I thought I'd suggest three more baby daddy possibilities.

1. We all know James has these cheeks and chins that don't quit. They just go on for days!

So, I'm just sayin'... Daddy Hitchcock?

2. If you know our kids, you know they come out of the womb with the ability to furrow their brows, but James? He's in a different category! What baby can do THIS? 

The son of ole Pops Connery, that's who!

3. Now, I wish I could take credit for this one because it might be the most convincing... Sean, if you're reading, I tip my hat to you for connecting THIS face... (Look at James, people. This is not about Patrick!)--

...with his real father: Winston Churchill.

Maury? We'll be waiting for your call. 

Rockin' NYE!

Turn on your game show announcer voice now.

This most recent blog break has been brought to you by:

• A Sick Baby (ALMOST out of the crud-in-the-bottom-of-your-lungs woods, but a baby on steroids is like--no, scratch that. It IS--giving a non-communicative person a deep desire to jump out of his own skin. Not fun for him or me!)
• and by Technical Difficulties (because blogging without adding photos is NOT an option)
• and by The Holidays (when you try desperately to enjoy the time and traditions while ignoring the fact that you're woefully underprepared for, oh, everything)

Kay, now that I've clarified all of that, onward! 

James. Does this guy know how to party or what?? 

The big man turned seven months right smack on New Year's Eve! 

You may recall he rung in five months on Halloween. I mean, WHO KNEW being born on the 31st would provide so many celebratory milestones in Year One??

Anyway. 

As you already read, he's a bit under the weather, and my happy, go-with-the-flow baby has temporarily left the building. (Can't wait for you to return!!!) 

Just LOOK at that chubby muffin.

(Here I'd like to draw attention to the fact that I used to giggle at and make a lot of fun of my buddy Colette for calling babies "muffin." 

Then, I met James. "Muffin" suddenly made total baby nickname sense! Wouldn't you agree?)

But I digress. I was talking NYE! (Because Christmas was almost completely overwhelming, and I don't have the energy for that post yet.)

So, some nice (crazy) friends hosted a no-need-to-RSVP, family-friendly (did I mention crazy?) New Year's Eve party. All five of us went, and two of us (guess which ones!) ducked out a solid 45 minutes later. Pete, Elliott and Patrick made it about another hour, but then we were in it for the long haul (no we weren't) on NYE!

Reality looked a little more like this--

Teeheehee! 

These boys were DETERMINED to make it until midnight, and they did! Pete totally fell asleep, I dozed in and out, but Elliott and Patrick seriously made it to midnight! We continued our party atmosphere, with snacks and drinks and a Spongebob movie to help us pass the time. 

It was funny how they responded. 

Elliott started to fade and wasn't afraid to show it. Patrick, felt the fade and decided to FIGHT! 

Never before have I seen a kid better personify the "bouncing off the walls" idea. It came naturally as he ran around the house, laughing and livin' up the party animal role. 

The boys woke their dad in time for the countdown, and well, it was fantastically anti-climactic. But dammit. They made it! 

As you might have guessed, both boys (as well as their parents) were asleep at around 12:02 a.m. 

Here's to a better rested state in 2013!!!