Have you ever done something with the "I'm on vacation!" justification? Yeah, Pete and I recently pulled that card as we tried to hide our viewing pleasure from the children.
It was a results (as in "who's the baby daddy?") show! Chant it with me now: Mau-ry! Mau-ry! Mau-ry!
Sure, it's fun to see how the other half lives, but we could just as easily be filling those chairs, facing Mr. Povich, that pillar of journalistic integrity.
Don't believe me?
Perhaps you've heard mention of how large James is...
As a result, Pete delights in suggesting alternative paternity. Any man--so long as he's a Big & Tall shopper--is a contender! Friends, coworkers, neighbors, strangers... Really, they're ALL fair game.
But just in case our application for Maury's next results show isn't flashy enough, I thought I'd suggest three more baby daddy possibilities.
1. We all know James has these cheeks and chins that don't quit. They just go on for days!
2. If you know our kids, you know they come out of the womb with the ability to furrow their brows, but James? He's in a different category! What baby can do THIS?
The son of ole Pops Connery, that's who!
3. Now, I wish I could take credit for this one because it might be the most convincing... Sean, if you're reading, I tip my hat to you for connecting THIS face... (Look at James, people. This is not about Patrick!)--
...with his real father: Winston Churchill.
Maury? We'll be waiting for your call.
5 comments:
I didn't know you had a thing for older men ;) Also I think the last one is more of a Kelsey Grammer face
I love this! Particularly the Winston Churchill one :)
ha! that is great
I'm pretty sure you could find work in TV and films--this one's your best yet--but your kids'll miss ya...at least wait until you've figured out the paternity of the last one, eh? Uh-adorable little James. (read: boo HOO!!!)
Ok, meant to write "Uh-dorable" but was so overcome with emotion that I goofed. Uh-gain!
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